The little man turned 9 months last week. I’m not sure why, but this felt like such a big milestone to me. I think it’s something to do with him being out as long (well almost, if he had of arrived on time) as he was inside cooking.
Over the last month or so he’s really lost interest in milk and basically dropped all of his day time breast feeds. Night time of course was a different matter. I was down to one bf every 24 hours after we got home from holiday and we made the decision that it was the right time for all of us to stop. I’d told myself that the last night feed before he turned 9 months would be the last to make me stick to it. I gave him an extra long cuddle before I put him back down into his cot and silly as it seems had a bit of a cry about it. He’s growing up so fast.
It’s been a roller coaster of a journey. I can just about laugh at those crazy first few (well 6) months now. I’m still not sure how I managed to keep going with it. A friend recently asked me if I would do it again? I didn’t hesitate to say 100% yes. It’s not been easy, especially as he refused the bottle so it meant for the first 6 months feeding was entirely my responsibility. But, as tough as it has been, on the whole, I’ve loved it and I’ll miss it.
So now we’re in a brave new world. One where Mr B can help with the feeding overnight (to be fair he always got up with me when I was bf, although as I keep saying to him it’s not quite the same!) and one where I can have a little bit of freedom (what’s that?!) to go out without having to stress about getting back for a feed. I’m pretty sure my friends will be glad to not have to see my boobs any more and be able to have a conversation with me without a little person hanging off them.
I’m still waiting for my milk to fully dry up, but thankfully it seems to have been pretty easy to stop. My friends are really enjoying the pictures I’m sending them of me with cabbage leaves stuffed down my bra. That really made for a romantic Saturday night in last week. “Seriously, what’s that smell?” Mr B asked, “It’s me darling, you’re going to have to just deal with it”. But they seem to be helping. Stopping has made me a tad emotional, something to do with the change in hormones I guess and it’s made me reflect on a few things as well as wonder where the hell all that time has gone. I swear some days I can’t even remember what happened in the first 4 months of his life. It’ll be two years this weekend since we had our first miscarriage, sitting in A&E that day I never imagined we’d be where we are today. I’m very thankful for what we’ve got, even if he is a little monster at night and hasn’t wanted me to leave his side for the last 9 months. I can’t imagine life without him and I wouldn’t change a thing, well if I’m honest a little more sleep perhaps…. but he’s worth every bag under my eye and stretch mark on my boobs.
A week or so back we had our first experience of taking a baby to a wedding. Relaxing it was not, but it was so lovely to have him there with us and for him to be a part of the day.
It was the son of our close family friends who live in Northumberland so we all travelled up there for the weekend, grumps, grandma and his uncle and auntie. We shared a cottage in the grounds of the venue which was great, it made life so much easier as we could just nip back to change him if needs be.
Dare I say it but the little man’s sleep has finally started to improve and he’s dropped a night feed. This just started to happen before we went up north so we were a bit worried about what it would do to his routine. He decided he needed a 10pm feed again while away but to be honest I think this just because he was in a different environment and hearing different noises that woke him up. Something we’ve found to be a brilliant buy was a travel cot bed mattress topper from kiddicare. It was £20 and makes the travel cot so much softer and it’s light to travel with so doesn’t take up much room. Another tip we discovered was using the sling at the church so when he got a little grizzly we could stand and bounce him around at the back quite easily. Which we had to do, for pretty much the whole service. But we kept him from having a complete meltdown, I’m sure no one else would of noticed but I would of hated to think we’d been a distraction or caused any noise during something so important. The bride and groom were so sweet, leaving a little bag of goodies for him at his place at the table, a hand puppet, puzzle and bubbles which kept him amused for most of the way through the speeches. It was a lovely day, and another weekend spent making memories.
We finally plucked up the courage to leave the little man for a few hours last Friday night. Well I say we – I decided to take Mr B out to celebrate his birthday as a surprise, and I say a few hours but it was actually only 2.5!
It’s amazing how life changes and how used to being three we are. We both said on the drive into Cambridge that it was strange him not being with us. He’s only 19 weeks but we’re now so used to him being part of our family it felt very odd leaving him behind. We used to go out for dinner all the time, we’re big foodies so I thought it would do us good to get out for a bit of a treat. The last time we went out for dinner I was overdue so couldn’t get near the table or fit a lot in!
Mr B declared after two hours and three courses at our favourite Turkish restaurant he was missing his little man so we best get home for cuddles. He’d been as good as gold and hadn’t made a peep for Grandma and Grumps (much to their disappointment I’m sure!). It felt good to get out if only for a short while and have a chance to spend some time together, although I imagine we spent the entire evening talking about Joshua but it did give us a chance to enjoy each other’s company.
As I write this it’s 3.45am and I’ve not yet gone to bed so apologies for any mistakes. The little man had his third lot of jabs today, well yesterday. I was already dreading it as after the first lot he had a raging fever bought on from the Meningitis B vaccine and we sat up all night with him whilst he cried in discomfort and feeling like a hot water bottle. After the first one his temperature started to rise 6-7 hours afterwards, but after three doses of calpol it started to come down. Tonight’s been a different story, he had the jabs at 9.30am (this time I took my calpol with me to give to him as soon as the nurse had finished) but he was absolutely fine until about 5pm, it just climbed and climbed after that.
Four doses of calpol later it was still up, spiking at 39.4. A call to 111 and a mad 1am dash to Tesco later we’ve now got some baby nurofen down him (I wish I had known I may need that before hand!) and touch wood it seems to be coming down. We managed to get him into his cot at about 2am, but I’m far too worried to leave his side at the moment.
I’m desperately trying not to be an overly anxious first time mum but it’s so hard. Everything is such a steep learning curve and you feel such an indescribable sense of responsibility for this tiny little person that when something like this happens it’s hard not to panic. I’m so thankful though that he’s received the immunisation, especially with all the media attention around it at the moment, luckily we were better prepared for his reaction this time round. Although I think he seems to suffer with it more than some have it seems? No more jabs until he is a year old though. I sense a lot of caffeine will be required tomorrow.
Exactly a year ago today we found out we were pregnant (for the third time). I never let myself imagine that we would get to where we are today, I still can’t quite believe it sometimes. Things can change so much in such a short space of time. And life can be so different. Joshua’s now 15 weeks old and we’ve had a fun evening tonight of planning our first family holiday (a week away in May to the Lake District) and planning a Spanish getaway for later in the summer. We’ve booked a lovely cottage in the Lakes for our May break so we’ll be self catering, and taking advantage of their ‘miles with out stiles’ – which has made so many walking routes accessible to people. We’ll still be taking the baby bjorn though for some proper walking and showing him the sorts of holidays we love.